Well, it's that time of year, a time to have a glimpse of the past year and pass some much needed 20:20 vision judgement! So what did 2013 hold? A roller coaster of emotions, a lot to toing and froing to London, some happy moments, sad moments and possibly the most scary moment of my life to date. I can honestly say I would rather pull my toenails out with pliers than relive some of 2013.
A year of mixed blessings. I was lucky enough to witness a very good friend (and fellow warrior) finally find some happiness and get married, what a wonderful day that was, and such an emotional day to see her so happy :) I'm lucky to have her in my life and call her friend.
A wonderful holiday in March with my family was great fun, even with the snow and cold!! What a great time we had, a great time also for our bobo to spend quality time with his grandmum. We loved it and can't wait to do it again, and how lucky we are to be able to.........
The most dominating aspect of the year, and certainly the most challenging was the very unwelcome return of my mums breast cancer!! After 10 years it was a bolt out of the blue. My amazing mum fought hard and long, through 2 major operations and the emotional roller coaster and the unbelievable fact that she had to go through it again. What a wonderful woman she is. I think the women in our family have a strong fighting gene. We don't let things stop us or get in the way. We deal with what life throws at us and move on, stronger and wiser.
It was heartbreaking, to sit and watch my mother have to take on all this information, face another mastectomy and all that goes with it, but the one of the very worst moments was sitting in the waiting room after talking to the consultant and watching my mum trying not to cry. Even now it brings tears, my mum, the ever strong, find the humour in life, sitting in a grim waiting room trying not to cry. For the first time in 10 years I wished I wasn't an adult, wished I could be hidden from the horrors of life, shielded by my mum, comforted by her and told everything would be ok. Instead here I was, a grown woman trying to comfort her mother, to tell her everything would be ok, shielding her from my own worries and fears. Oh to be a child again, innocent to all this suffering and drama!!
But we did it, she did it. She fought on and in October she was given the all clear, no more treatment, no more cancer, finally it had come to an end. A huge relief to us all, I have my mum back and she is as funny and loving as ever, and all I hope was that I was a comfort and support to her when she needed it as she has always been to me!!
Through all this drama and stress I was lucky enough to have some of the most wonderful people around.
Firstly my magnificent, hard working, stupidly funny, exceedingly supportive, kind, caring husband. Poor hubby used all his holiday and more to look after our son while I went back and forth with mum, but he did much more than that. He gave me the support and love that I needed and a good kick up the bum when necessary! His words and actions always showing me that I was cared for and supported, showing me that I too am a fighter, that I have inherited that warrior gene (although I sometimes think he wishes I'd either move to the amazon or shut up and sit down lol).
He gave me strength when I thought I had none. This has been a tough year for us, but we are strong and he is my rock. I feel incredibly lucky to have him and my son.
My son has been a source of great humour and love this year, he has made even the most invariable days worth living for, his smile, his misunderstanding of minute (as in small, he says 'Joshie's newt' as he though I said 'my newt' so now 'Joshie's newt' means something very small lol). I live him so much and cannot imagine life without him. I love my cuddles and kisses, our snuggle time, but most of all, I love our family time together :) lucky lucky me!!!!
My friends, my amazing friends!! Well what can I say about them??? You're all crazy lol. What fantastic support and love you have shown me. What fun we have had. Thank you for the smiles, the laughter, the understanding. Thank you for keeping me company while I sat alone in the hospital waiting on news of mum, texting me and helping me through it. Having constant companions was a huge help!! Keeping me entertained with tales of another life, and still loving me despite my love of Elvis ;) you mean a lot to me, always will.
One particular friend I have special thanks for. I am lucky to call her best friend, she is amazing!!!!! I'm not gonna go on as I've already told her how wonderful she is, but without her I'd be lost. She has pulled my out of some messes, picked me up, dusted me off, told me off and put my head back on straight just before kicking my arse and telling me to get a grip. I love you!!!!!!! Thank you.
This year has been crazy. Sometimes we have to live through crazy to appreciate what is truly important in life, and I think I'm getting there. I might not be where I want to be, but I think I'm learning to be happy where I am!! So what for next year? Well, weddings, charity photo shoot, art, photography, parties, family, friends, holidays, adventure, but most of all living my life and learning to be me!!!
I leave you all with a new poem as we leave this old year
2013,
what a year
Of pain and joy
Laughter and fear
The very worst moments
Times that we cheered
Times that we cried
And smiled and feared
Challenges brought
Battles we won
Sitting and playing
Just having fun
Moments of silence
Moments of peace
Moments of chaos
Merriment and feast
2013
You're finished, you're done
I don't look back fondly
On what has gone on
Instead I look forward
Without any fear
And I think to myself
I'll have My New Year
No more excuse
No more what ifs
Instead count my blessings
Cherish my gifts
This next year will see me
Fight a good fight
This next year will see
My Phoenix take flight
A year filled with happiness
Laughter and cheer
So I say to you all
Have A Happy New Year
See you on the other side x x x
